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“Watch my Back,” is the true story of a night-club bouncer in a tough British neighborhood who achieves all his dreams by staying manly. Geoff Thompson, the author, has become something of an authority on the subject of nightclub bouncing.

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gy-style “What the fuck do you think ya doing you skank ass pig whore?….You are NOT going anywhere until I dump my dick vomit into your disgusting mouth!” His sweet sadistic words cut through all of the fogginess I was experiencing, but that wasn’t enough to prevent me from passing out.

This is an easy joke that a million people have made but whatever, I sincerely feel bad smashing pumpkins in this tiny little farming town to harvest rupees out of them and I can’t get over Link’s dumb placid lingering stare.